My education

Things I learned from my grandparents:

• No matter how sweet and docile they may appear, every old person in my family at one time was a hellion. Every one. Especially my two grandfathers.
  
  
• Every grandmother, no matter how sweet and docile they are now, at one time pulled a gun or a brick on a grandfather to help him reign in his stay-out-all-night tendencies.
  
  
• Clouds are to be feared.
  
  
• Clouds does not mean "clouds", but actually means "thunderstorms". All electrical items are to be turned off AND unplugged. No sitting on the floor is allowed. No loud talking or boisterous playing is allowed - for "The LORD is doing His work." (Does that mean he's vacationing when it's sunny out?)
  
  
• Jooging (stabbing) people and chunking (throwing) rocks are bad things.
  
  
• Sugar (diabetes) is prevalent in my family.
  
  
• The size of one's feet is directly proportional to the amount of time spent running around barefoot.
  
  
• Throwing bones into the slop bucket is a no-no. As an aside, I learned that it costs 25 cents to get your little brother to remove said bones from the slop bucket.
  
  
• Snuff is the nectar of the gods.
  
  
• Every part (and I do mean every) of a hog is edible.
  
  
• If it can be shot, it can be cleaned and cooked.
  
  
• All hand-held fans must have either a picture of MLK, JFK, or "Jesus" on the front, and an ad for the local mortuary on the back.
  
  
• No home is complete without a picture of the "Lord's Supper" on the living room wall. In the 70s, it was preferable that said picture have lights around the frame.
  
  
• Jimmy Carter was a good president; Ronald Reagan was the devil incarnate.
  
  
• Goody's powder cures anything.
  
  
• Addendum: Cornbread, rice, and fish scraps provide all the nutrients a family of cats needs. Old hubcaps are their favorite dishes from which to eat.
  

I think I'll go visit the family next week. It's been far too long.

I think the boys are excited by my musings. Agree?