Is there a babysitter in the house?

Our $2.00 theater has 3 movies showing, 2 of which I want to see badly:

1. War of the Worlds
2. Star Wars Episode III
3. Mr. & Mrs. Smith

I don't really care about # 3, but the M.R.S. wants to see it also. Hopefully we can at least squeeze the first two in after we finish moving Monday. If only we had a babysitter *hint, hint*... (insert protracted sigh here)

Para Tomas tambien

1. The Gambler - Kenny Rogers
2. He Stopped Loving Her Today - George Jones
3. Stand By Your Man - Tammy Wynette
4. Elvira - Oak Ridge Boys
5. Countin' Flowers on the Wall - Statler Brothers
6. Ghost Riders in the Sky - Johnny Cash
7. Coward of the County - Kenny Rogers
8. Crazy - Patsy Cline
9. He'll Have to Go - Jim Reeves
10. You Needed Me - Anne Murray
11. Don't it Make My Brown Eyes Blue - Crystal Gayle
12. On the Road Again - Willie Nelson
13. Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks
14. Mama He's Crazy - The Judds
15. Angel of the Morning - Juice Newton
16. Lookin' for Love - Johnny Lee
17. Take this job and shove it - Johnny Paycheck
18. Swingin' - John Anderson

I know I'm bordering on sacrilege for not including anything by Conway Twitty, Merle Haggard, Waylon Jennings, Mickey Gilley, Loretta Lynn, Tanya Tucker, Emmylou Harris, etc... Please forgive me. I may as well make it an even 20, so...

19. Lucille - Kenny Rogers
20. Mountain Music - Alabama

For Tom

This is not an "essentials" list, just some faves:

Hair Band Songs

1. Cum On Feel the Noize - Quiet Riot
2. Mama Weer All Crazee Now - Quiet Riot
3. Round and Round - Ratt
4. Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns 'N Roses
5. Paradise City - Guns 'N Roses
6. Back for More - Ratt
7. Smokin' in the Boys' Room - Motley Crue
8. Looks that Kill - Motley Crue
9. The Final Countdown - Europe
10. Nobody's Fool - Cinderella
11. Metal Health - Quiet Riot
12. Rock you like a Hurricane - The Scorpions
13. Shot in the Dark - Ozzy Osborne
14. Into the Fire - Dokken
15. Why Can't this be Love - Van Halen
17. Jump - Panama

Old Skool Hip-Hop Essentials

1. Planet Rock - Afrika Bambaata & the Soul Sonic Force (released in '81/'82, this song remains one of, if not THE most popular hip-hop songs of all time.)

2. Rock Box - Run-DMC (Early release by ground-breaking rap trio; one of the first rap videos I remember seeing as a youth. First rap song I remember to utilize rock & roll guitar riffs.)

3. Roxanne, Roxanne - UTFO (Classic '84 release which spawned numerous answer records from the likes of Roxanne Shante and the Real Roxanne.)

4. Friends - Whodini (Another classic from around '84/'85.)

5. Paid in Full - Eric B. & Rakim (Probably my favorite song from what is considered a CLASSIC album. Released circa 1986.)

6. Jam On It - Newcleus (Ahhh, the wikki-wikki-wikki-wikki song. This song will never grow old.)

7. I Need Love - LL Cool J (The first, and still most popular, rap ballad by the young, brash, Kangol-wearing James Todd Smith. ca 1984.)

8. Don't Believe the Hype - Public Enemy (A response to negative press. Chuck D and a pre-Bridgette Nielsen Flava Flav in their respective primes. Released around '87/'88)

9. The Message - Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five (First socially conscious rap song to have mass appeal - released sometime around '82)

10. Fat Boys - The Fat Boys (Imagine that!)

11. The Magnificent Jazzy Jeff - Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince (The last song I remember that gave the DJ his due, instead of focusing on the MC. And yes, it's THAT Fresh Prince. 1986)

12. Just a Friend - Biz Markie (Crossover hit for a talented artist who never took himself too seriously. 1989/90)

Believe it or not, dear reader, rap has not always been the total crapfest that it is now. Next up - Mike P. tackles classic country and hair bands!

Monday, Monday

The Bryces surprised us with a visit and Mr. Bryce gave an excellent sermon. I though some people were going to pass out from the heat - it had to be 90 degrees in that room. Hopefully the owners of the facility will take care of that immediately.

We finally had guests over to our house after church - right as we're preparing to move. Everything went well, I think. I think everyone enjoyed themselves. We'll definitely have to do that again, and soon. We'll have to scale back on the guest list next time though, b/c I don't think our new place will hold 14. The Burdettes brought salad, we cooked whole wheat spaghetti w/ meat sauce, the Brooks brought tea (this is the South, after all) and bread, and the Ridgeways brought dessert and "vinegar". Everything was excellent, and the meal was followed by fellowship and a killer game of "Killer". Maybe David will bring "Risk" next time and I can attempt to take over the world like my idol Brain (sans Pinky).

Our final guests left around 1 a.m. I lounged around for a few hours, and the next thing I knew, the Tomorrow's World broadcast was coming on. I got to see some of Mr. Ogwyn's presentation on nuclear proliferation before finally falling asleep. Needless to say, I was a tad groggy when it was time to go to Wright Park to hook up with the brethren. We ended up going to visit some of my wife's relatives in her hometown. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my weekend.

Disco Essentials

For those born after 1980, who need to be enlightened about the art form that was disco:

I will survive - Gloria Gaynor
Last Dance - Donna Summer
Boogie Man - KC and the Sunshine Band
Disco Inferno - The Trammps
Ain't no stoppin' us now - McFadden & Whitehead
Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees
Night Fever - "" ""
Y.M.C.A. - Village People
I Love the Nightlife - Alicia Bridges
Turn the Beat Around - Vicki Sue Robinson; later remade by Gloria Estefan
Good Times - Chic
La Freak - "" ""
If I Can't Have You - Yvonne Elliman
Love's Theme - Love Unlimited Orchestra
Can't Get Enough of Your Love - Barry White; later remade by Taylor Dayne
The Hustle - Van McCoy

Bonus Track: Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry; I don't consider it disco, but it sure is FUNKY!

This should be enough to get you started. Now pull out those bell-bottoms, platform shoes, afros, and all the polyester you can stand and hit the dance floor!

A one and a two and a ...

It's Friday, and the workday is almost over. I was supposed to fly out to Cali this weekend, but I'm putting the trip off for a minute; hopefully till after the 1st of August, so we can move into our new crib on campus. I think our neighbors are going to be wonderful. They have a daughter who's the same age as Nick, and I think they're going to be classmates. They also have a younger son who likes to play, and Nick has fallen in love with his toy train. They appear to be a religious family, so I don't think I'll have to worry too much about drugs, sex, and rock & roll.

I'm looking forward to services tomorrow. I'll be leading songs - for once I'd like to make it through a service without messing up. Most times only our pianist Aaron or Summer pick up on my screw-ups; sometimes they're obvious to everyone. I think I'll pick some conventional 3/4 or 4/4 songs that don't start on the upbeat. It'll help if I pick songs that we sing all the time. And ones without too many notes above 'B' - those are a strain for me to get too. I've been trying to learn the bass parts of the songs in the hymnal and I sing the bassline as much as I can when I'm in the congregation. Well what I actually do is sing the bass part when it's not too low; when it is I switch (uncontrollably) to the melody. I'm sure it sounds weird to the Ridgeways, who have the bad luck to be in front of me most of the time. When I'm up front though, I stick to the melody. I have enough trouble as it is. I'll miss Aaron when he leaves because he actually plays the bass lines close to the way they're written in the hymnals. Not that he messes up, but sometimes he ad libs just a bit sometimes. It sounds great though.

PLEASE let them have the A/C fixed by tomorrow!!!!

Nick's greatest hits

1. We break into a game of "I Spy" between Nick and Ashley/Desiree/Summer:

A/D/S: I spy something black.
Nick: *pondering for a minute* ... My DADDY?

A/D/S: (in the midst of laughing hilariously) No, not your daddy.
Nick: My daddy IS black! (Turns to me) Aren't you daddy???

2. You had to be there to see it, but the anatomically correct portrait of a certain female member of the congregation was priceless - embarassing, but priceless.

I love this boy.

Nah, I wasn't skeered

The church picnic was yesterday. I think a good time was had by all. I only went tubing once this year because the water was a tad rougher this year. Not much, but enough to make a non-swimmer like myself take to the land. I'm so uncomfortable in the water that I was on the verge of panic wading across the river to reach the trail leading to the starting point (the bridge over the river was damaged by a hurricane). I was leaning across my tube, strolling across the river, when all of a sudden I couldn't touch bottom. The current began to take me downstream of everyone else, and I could feel panic's cold, clammy hands making their way to my heart. My throat tightened; my heart rate picked up substantially, and I think I was 2 seconds away from whimpering. Then I was able to grab Mr. Brooks' hand and come ashore. It wasn't until 30 minutes later that I remembered I'd been wearing a life jacket all along. At least the peanut gallery didn't detect how close I'd come to losing my mind.



Alas, the diet - a modified South Beach sort of thing - took a major hit yesterday. I tried to make up for it by playing some basketball at the public courts, so hopefully that counteracted the effects of the cupcakes, chips, and cookies. I had one burst of adrenaline as I got the ball in the post and almost dunked on this kid - it bounced off the back of the rim. Ah, to be five or ten years younger. The miss made the young'uns respect me a little though, particularly when they drove to the basket against my team. Maybe this year at the Feast there'll be opportunities to play, cuz the diet will definitely be on the shelf then.

On a completely unrelated note, Sean gets the thumbs-up... ... even if he reminds me of the comic relief in the Mummy remakes.

Ticked off. Extremely.

No Jalen this weekend. His mom decided to be mad at me this week. I think it's time I get a lawyer.

This was as short as I could make it...

OK. So I'm learning my lesson. Type your post first, then add pictures and preview it. I'll try this again.

So we finally get to KC after 15-16 hours on the road and head to the Milliches. No one told me that they were hosting a blogger's convention. I walk in and see Martin, Anne Rankin, and Jon Gregory, the honorary Canadian. jon and Anne were pretty surprised to learn that I frequent their blogs. I don't think I saw Jon without a smile on his face the entire weekend. I was yet to learn how good a dancer Anne is. The Routh girls were there also, and the soon-to-be husband-of-Heather was sprawled across the couch. Nick and Veronica hit it off pretty well, while Noah did his "I'm a baby and I'm cute" thing and won the crowd over. We kicked it there for a couple of hours until it was time to head to Arrow Rock state park, site of the nuptials.




The wedding was georgeous and short. Brianne Blanchard and I were the Maid of Honor & Best Man, respectively. Mr. Millich started the ceremony, and then gave the no-look pass to Mr. Burson to actually marry the lovebirds. Heather was gorgeous, as was Brianne. The ceremony couldn't have lasted more than 10 minutes, which was perfect. The mosquitoes came to enjoy the spectacle as well. I almost fainted from the blood loss, but that was OK. My boy was happy. The "ringbear" did his part fairly well; unfortunately, the flower girl's dress was left behind, so she didn't participate (she was still a cutie though). She did get to wear her dress Sat. nite at the reception. Afterwards we had cake and champagne under the shed. By this time it had cooled off considerably and the mosquitoes had had their fill. There were probably about 35-40 people in attendance.

Going to church was an experience. The KC church is known to Nick as the "Basketball Church" - they meet in a school gymnasium. That goes along with the "Water church" (Panama City Marina, former Feast site), the "Mountain Church" (Asheville, NC), the "Anderson Church" (our local congregation), the "New Orleans Church" (Baton Rouge - we'd spent the previous week in N.O.), etc. There were 245 people present. I saw people I knew from everywhere - Charlotte, Baton Rouge, West Monroe (LA), Chicago, Arkansas, Atlanta, Murfreesboro (TN), L.A.... I also go to talk to a lot of KC people I'd met at various Feast sites. It appears that quite a few people are going to be in Jamaica for the Feast this year - possibly as many as 290. Yaaaay!!!! (Sorry to steal your word Ash-e-ly)...

After services we went over to Mrs. Scarborough's (the Matriarch) home for dinner. Over there I met some folks from Joplin, MO and various parts of Kansas. Over the course of the afternoon more and more people trickled in, since that's where the wedding reception was held also. Mrs. Violet Gunn hooked up the cake, and she made these incredible white chocolate sea shells. They looked like the genuine article, but they were exquisite! They were even painted with edible paint. Needless to say, the diet went out the window for a few days.



The reception went on until about 1 a.m. Mrs. Scarborough (who is one of the warmest people I've ever met)has a swing and jungle gym in her yard, so that's where all the kids spent their time. Nick had an absolute blast playing with so many children. Noah was passed around for most of the evening. The music was definitely put together by Daral and Tiff - there would be Bob Marley, then the Temptations, then James Brown, then Bob Marley, then John Denver (!?), then Johnny Cash, then Bob Marley... you get the picture. The funniest sight of the evening came when the newlyweds had their first dance. The song that will live in infamy as Daral and Heather's wedding song was... G-Love's "The Hustle". Mr. Millich burst out with an incredulous "THAT'S their song?" Even funnier was watching the Milliches and the Bursons dance along. That's a memory I'll be taking to my grave.

Eventually we end up back at the Milliches along with the "hip" crew - Anne, Jon G, Tiff, Jeremy, Martin, Krissy (Chrissy?)and Robert. They decided to watch the romantic comedy "Shaun of the Dead". I decided to hang out with the young'uns for a while and ended up watching the movie whilst reading and re-reading the same page of Daral's "Epistles of Paul" notes. The movie was OK, I guess; it wasn't as funny as I thought it would be, and there was quite a bit of profanity early on.

Sunday, we just kinda lounged around. We eventually ended up going to the Smokehouse for some authentic KC BBQ. That was an experience! After eating ourselves into a coma, we went back to the crib and marinated for a while. Mr. Millich eventually put in this unknown movie called "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra". The plot is essentially this: Aliens from Mars crash-land, setting loose a mutant, while a mad scientist re-awakens a talking skeleton that could hold the key to world domination. And don't forget Animala, a half-woman, half-animal beatnik! (taken from Amazon .com). It's one of the funniest parodies I've ever seen. It does a terric job sending up the low-budget 50s B-movies. It was a perfect way to end the weekend.

Monday, we got up and left around 6 a.m., drove for 13 hours, and made it back to SC around 8 p.m. Nick fell in love with the St. Louis arch and took several pictures of it as we passed. My traveling buddies missed several states as they fell into catatonia for hours at a time. Of course, that meant there was no one awake to make me turn from the talk radio stations!

Whatyoutalkinbout Willis? Part Deux

How does gas go from $2.05 a gallon to $2.25 a gallon overnight?

Whatyoutalkinbout Willis?

Your Slanguage Profile

Prison Slang: 50%

Southern Slang: 50%

Canadian Slang: 25%

New England Slang: 25%

Victorian Slang: 25%

Aussie Slang: 0%

British Slang: 0%

What Slanguage Do You Speak?

Update (sort of)

I'll actually have a real post tomorrow. For your reading pleasure I'll list a few things I learned on my trip.

1. Anne Rankin is a dancin', dancin', dancin' - she's a dancin' machine

2. Martin digs my wife's taste in clothes

3. Jon Gregory is only an honorary Canadian - and he always has a smile glued to his face

4. Tiff is not a natural jet-black

5. There a a LOT of Mikes in KC

6. The South ain't got NUTHIN on Missouri when it comes to mosquitoes

7. Actually reciting the wedding vows is greatly overrated

8. On the other hand, KC barbecue is not

The men in the wedding...