Nah, I wasn't skeered

The church picnic was yesterday. I think a good time was had by all. I only went tubing once this year because the water was a tad rougher this year. Not much, but enough to make a non-swimmer like myself take to the land. I'm so uncomfortable in the water that I was on the verge of panic wading across the river to reach the trail leading to the starting point (the bridge over the river was damaged by a hurricane). I was leaning across my tube, strolling across the river, when all of a sudden I couldn't touch bottom. The current began to take me downstream of everyone else, and I could feel panic's cold, clammy hands making their way to my heart. My throat tightened; my heart rate picked up substantially, and I think I was 2 seconds away from whimpering. Then I was able to grab Mr. Brooks' hand and come ashore. It wasn't until 30 minutes later that I remembered I'd been wearing a life jacket all along. At least the peanut gallery didn't detect how close I'd come to losing my mind.



Alas, the diet - a modified South Beach sort of thing - took a major hit yesterday. I tried to make up for it by playing some basketball at the public courts, so hopefully that counteracted the effects of the cupcakes, chips, and cookies. I had one burst of adrenaline as I got the ball in the post and almost dunked on this kid - it bounced off the back of the rim. Ah, to be five or ten years younger. The miss made the young'uns respect me a little though, particularly when they drove to the basket against my team. Maybe this year at the Feast there'll be opportunities to play, cuz the diet will definitely be on the shelf then.

On a completely unrelated note, Sean gets the thumbs-up... ... even if he reminds me of the comic relief in the Mummy remakes.

Ticked off. Extremely.

No Jalen this weekend. His mom decided to be mad at me this week. I think it's time I get a lawyer.

This was as short as I could make it...

OK. So I'm learning my lesson. Type your post first, then add pictures and preview it. I'll try this again.

So we finally get to KC after 15-16 hours on the road and head to the Milliches. No one told me that they were hosting a blogger's convention. I walk in and see Martin, Anne Rankin, and Jon Gregory, the honorary Canadian. jon and Anne were pretty surprised to learn that I frequent their blogs. I don't think I saw Jon without a smile on his face the entire weekend. I was yet to learn how good a dancer Anne is. The Routh girls were there also, and the soon-to-be husband-of-Heather was sprawled across the couch. Nick and Veronica hit it off pretty well, while Noah did his "I'm a baby and I'm cute" thing and won the crowd over. We kicked it there for a couple of hours until it was time to head to Arrow Rock state park, site of the nuptials.




The wedding was georgeous and short. Brianne Blanchard and I were the Maid of Honor & Best Man, respectively. Mr. Millich started the ceremony, and then gave the no-look pass to Mr. Burson to actually marry the lovebirds. Heather was gorgeous, as was Brianne. The ceremony couldn't have lasted more than 10 minutes, which was perfect. The mosquitoes came to enjoy the spectacle as well. I almost fainted from the blood loss, but that was OK. My boy was happy. The "ringbear" did his part fairly well; unfortunately, the flower girl's dress was left behind, so she didn't participate (she was still a cutie though). She did get to wear her dress Sat. nite at the reception. Afterwards we had cake and champagne under the shed. By this time it had cooled off considerably and the mosquitoes had had their fill. There were probably about 35-40 people in attendance.

Going to church was an experience. The KC church is known to Nick as the "Basketball Church" - they meet in a school gymnasium. That goes along with the "Water church" (Panama City Marina, former Feast site), the "Mountain Church" (Asheville, NC), the "Anderson Church" (our local congregation), the "New Orleans Church" (Baton Rouge - we'd spent the previous week in N.O.), etc. There were 245 people present. I saw people I knew from everywhere - Charlotte, Baton Rouge, West Monroe (LA), Chicago, Arkansas, Atlanta, Murfreesboro (TN), L.A.... I also go to talk to a lot of KC people I'd met at various Feast sites. It appears that quite a few people are going to be in Jamaica for the Feast this year - possibly as many as 290. Yaaaay!!!! (Sorry to steal your word Ash-e-ly)...

After services we went over to Mrs. Scarborough's (the Matriarch) home for dinner. Over there I met some folks from Joplin, MO and various parts of Kansas. Over the course of the afternoon more and more people trickled in, since that's where the wedding reception was held also. Mrs. Violet Gunn hooked up the cake, and she made these incredible white chocolate sea shells. They looked like the genuine article, but they were exquisite! They were even painted with edible paint. Needless to say, the diet went out the window for a few days.



The reception went on until about 1 a.m. Mrs. Scarborough (who is one of the warmest people I've ever met)has a swing and jungle gym in her yard, so that's where all the kids spent their time. Nick had an absolute blast playing with so many children. Noah was passed around for most of the evening. The music was definitely put together by Daral and Tiff - there would be Bob Marley, then the Temptations, then James Brown, then Bob Marley, then John Denver (!?), then Johnny Cash, then Bob Marley... you get the picture. The funniest sight of the evening came when the newlyweds had their first dance. The song that will live in infamy as Daral and Heather's wedding song was... G-Love's "The Hustle". Mr. Millich burst out with an incredulous "THAT'S their song?" Even funnier was watching the Milliches and the Bursons dance along. That's a memory I'll be taking to my grave.

Eventually we end up back at the Milliches along with the "hip" crew - Anne, Jon G, Tiff, Jeremy, Martin, Krissy (Chrissy?)and Robert. They decided to watch the romantic comedy "Shaun of the Dead". I decided to hang out with the young'uns for a while and ended up watching the movie whilst reading and re-reading the same page of Daral's "Epistles of Paul" notes. The movie was OK, I guess; it wasn't as funny as I thought it would be, and there was quite a bit of profanity early on.

Sunday, we just kinda lounged around. We eventually ended up going to the Smokehouse for some authentic KC BBQ. That was an experience! After eating ourselves into a coma, we went back to the crib and marinated for a while. Mr. Millich eventually put in this unknown movie called "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra". The plot is essentially this: Aliens from Mars crash-land, setting loose a mutant, while a mad scientist re-awakens a talking skeleton that could hold the key to world domination. And don't forget Animala, a half-woman, half-animal beatnik! (taken from Amazon .com). It's one of the funniest parodies I've ever seen. It does a terric job sending up the low-budget 50s B-movies. It was a perfect way to end the weekend.

Monday, we got up and left around 6 a.m., drove for 13 hours, and made it back to SC around 8 p.m. Nick fell in love with the St. Louis arch and took several pictures of it as we passed. My traveling buddies missed several states as they fell into catatonia for hours at a time. Of course, that meant there was no one awake to make me turn from the talk radio stations!

Whatyoutalkinbout Willis? Part Deux

How does gas go from $2.05 a gallon to $2.25 a gallon overnight?

Whatyoutalkinbout Willis?

Your Slanguage Profile

Prison Slang: 50%

Southern Slang: 50%

Canadian Slang: 25%

New England Slang: 25%

Victorian Slang: 25%

Aussie Slang: 0%

British Slang: 0%

What Slanguage Do You Speak?

Update (sort of)

I'll actually have a real post tomorrow. For your reading pleasure I'll list a few things I learned on my trip.

1. Anne Rankin is a dancin', dancin', dancin' - she's a dancin' machine

2. Martin digs my wife's taste in clothes

3. Jon Gregory is only an honorary Canadian - and he always has a smile glued to his face

4. Tiff is not a natural jet-black

5. There a a LOT of Mikes in KC

6. The South ain't got NUTHIN on Missouri when it comes to mosquitoes

7. Actually reciting the wedding vows is greatly overrated

8. On the other hand, KC barbecue is not

The men in the wedding...

We're off to see the wedding... the wonderful wedding of... Oz?

We're about to be off to the midwest. SC to MO to OH to SC. Yippee! Wait - how much gas is that? Maybe it would've been cheaper to fly. Oh well, too late now. Au revoir...

Shades of Deliverance

Ah, the church picnic is almost upon us. We had a great time last year; 4 baptisms, great food, and tubing down a portion of the Chauga River (see below). I think tubing may be a little more dangerous this year with all the rain we’ve had recently. The kid will definitely be wearing a life jacket. The kid will definitely not wear the high-top basketball kicks this time around.

Summer, I am expecting some of your wares to be on display at the cookout – preferably something sweet.

In two days I'm off to Kansas City! I'm not really looking forward to the drive, but it might be fun. Yesterday I looked for sports talk radio stations in each state I'll be passing through. That might make the drive a little better. The Mrs. and the little one will be knocked out for most of the trip (even though the Mrs. has assured me she'll help drive), so I guess it'll be Nick and I boldly going where no Palmer has gone before. We're thinking about swinging through Cincy on the way home for a day. Hey, might as well make a roadtrip outta this thing. My mother-in-law's van is rapidly morphing into the mighty road-trip machine. I think my friends at church got a kick out of mom's "What a friend we have in Jesus" vanity plate.

I've become addicted to no-sugar added frozen lattes. The Mrs. has been making them at home when I remember to bring crushed ice home from the lab. I heard she made the kids some killer milkshakes too. I think I'll go try to find one now. Ciao for now...

PSA o' the day

Here's my Public Service Announcement for the day... Kids, don't have out-of-wedlock children.

I have a 12-year old son, Jalen, from a "relationship" that happened back in the day. He's a very good kid; a little shy, pretty obedient, respectful, and a nice person. He makes good grades and has his heart set on being a football player for the University of Miami. He's certainly shaping up to have the size to make it; he's already about 5'6" and between 190-200 lbs. He's an excellent big brother to his siblings, although of course there are the normal arguments over toys and the remote from time to time. He's right on the fringe of adolescence, and I'm dreading it. He's almost at the point where he'll no longer like to "play" or do things that kids do. Hopefully he won't feel the need to distance himself from his uncool parents. Yep, my boy's growing up.

He absolutely adores his mom, which is understandable since he's lived with her since birth. I think she coddles him, but I never try to come between them or make him choose between the two of us. I would never speak ill of her in his presence (Not that I make a habit of speaking ill of her when he's not around). However, since about the time he was five, his mother and I have traveled divergent paths. 1997 was the last year I celebrated Christmas with him, and I don't go all out for his birthdays as his mom does. I don't feed him many of the things he's allowed to eat when he's not with me, and he's not allowed to watch the same TV shows and/or movies that he gets to watch when I have him. It's not that big of a problem right now, but I dread what might come when he hits high school, and peer pressure begins to exert an even stronger effect. I've tried to counter that pre-emptively by stressing to him for the past few years how important character development is, and how important it is to be able to say "No" when necessary - even if every one else is saying "Yes" - and even when it's something you might want to do.

I had Jalen this past weekend. It pains me to hear my son express views and thought processes that are different from mine. No, I don't want him to be a mini-me (please no!), but one does want one's children to share and treasure the values one holds dear. Don't get me wrong - his thoughts are certainly not evil (from a society's point of view), but his thinking is much more closely aligned with mainstream society than with mine. For the longest time I told myself to just keep pluggin' along, doing what I can, and he'll see how I'm trying to live and want to emulate dear old Dad. I should state here that his mom is not a bad woman or a bad parent. She takes pretty good care of him, and I know she loves him. I think that she's doing the best job she can. It's just that she's raising him to share her values; and where ours conflict, mine tend to be the ones tossed aside. This was brought home when I told him of the possibility of our going to Jamaica for the Feast. I expected him to be like, "Yay!", but he hedged a bit. I don't think he wants to miss 2 C-team football games. When I was his age, I would've jumped at the chance to travel ANYWHERE - much less to a Caribbean island... I also worry about the boys' relationships as they grow older. Will there be resentment from Jalen because Nick & Noah have things and do things that he doesn't or hasn't? Will N & N look at my attempts to guide Jalen's development into manhood as making him my favorite? Nick tends to want to do everything I do - will that cause Jalen to look at him as my favorite? How can I prevent these things from happening?

Perhaps I worry to much, and if I keep doing what I'm doing things'll be OK. Time will tell, I suppose. I'm also aware that people who have all of their kids with their spouse face problems as well. Dear Reader, I highly recommend that you not make parenting even more difficult by creating a situation such as I have. It's not easy, and it's not fair to you or the child(ren). I also recommend not having kids until you're finished with your formal education, but that's a post for another day!

So I just lost my post...

... and I don't feel like retyping it. So to summarize:

1. I have a lot to do today
2. I saw Summer & her dad today (I think)
3. National Treasure is great
4. The rich kid in The Day after Tomorrow is not your usual rich-kid jerk
5. I need to eat

I can't think of a witty title

So I've just finished reading the blogs of Ashley, Adrian, Martin, Crystal, Annette, Josh K, Ben, and the un-updated Burdette trio. I'll probably read Gary's and Ann's before I go home. I wonder how many of the people whose blogs I frequent know who I am. Of course the Burdette trio and Ashley do. I wonder if Martin remembers meeting me in Myrtle Beach last year, or if Crystal remembers me from Panama City. Her son Jarek and ny son Nick used to race between the seats of the auditorium after services (I think that was 2002). I met her brother Wyatt there the following year, I think. I met Ben's dad at a Louisiana family weekend in December (2000? 2001?) I remember it was at Chicot State Park in Ville Platte, La - the only place I've ever experienced mosquitoes in the dead of winter! Adrian would remember me, but I don't think she knows I read her blog. The blogs are great not only for keeping up with what's going on in the lives of the authors, but also for getting tidbits of news about other people I know.

I see analogies between life in the church and life in my college frat. In the frat, I have over 100,000 brothers scattered across the US and a few international areas. There are ways to identify oneself as a frat member without uttering a word, and there is a sense of brotherhood and cameraderie amongst brothers, even those who have just met. There is secret info known only to the brothers, and we could discuss certain things in front of a non-member without them being aware of what has transpired. And then there are the roadtrips to various chapters. Likewise in the church I have family scattered throughout the US and some international areas. The indwelling of Christ through His Spirit identifies me as a Christian without my uttering a word. There is definitely a sense of family and cameraderie among brethen, even those who've just met. We have secret info, and we can discuss spiritual things plainly yet have others not understand. And I try to roadtrip to visit other brethren as much as possible. I'm going to KC in a couple of weeks, and LA in about a month. I'll be in San Antonio and San Diego in January and I'm looking forward to seeing/meeting the brethren in those places.

I guess the big difference b/t the two is that I haven't gotten branded for the church yet. ;-}

Episode VII? 

Daddy being silly 

Nick as Dark Vadar 

It is done.

Once again the basketball courts were full, thus I was relegated to lifting weights and jogging on a treadmill. I am tired, and I'm going to be sore. Time to go home.

In the movie, Yoda is

So Nick, the new avid Star Wars fan, just called me to tell me that "the green man" (Yoda) is in fact, in Return of the Jedi. Not only that, but the caterpillar (Jabba the Hutt)also makes an appearance. Nick was also pondering when the caterpillar was going to make its "chrysalis". Oh yeah, and there's a big monster that ate one of the bad guys but not Luke. Life with a five-year-old has its joys, lemme tell ya.

Noah is sick. He's been hoarse the past coupla days (yes, I know he can't talk but he's hoarse just the same), and last night he was quite whiny and didn't go to sleep until 4:30 a.m. He's on his way to the doc now b/c his temperature has risen to 100 degrees. We'll have him anointed tomorrow, right after we finish listening to the 2nd half of Mr. Bryce's sermon on the Exodus. I'm really looking forward to hearing that, and seeing the brethren of course. Mayhaps Summer will provide nice baked sweet treats for us!

Thanks to you loyal readers, I now have not one, but TWO copies of the Empire Strikes Back, as well as copies of Episodes 4 & 6. That was a very sweet gesture Summer. Tom, since we're guys, I'll just say thank you. Wait - you don't read this, so never mind.

The weather is great outside. I'm ready to blow this joint. I think I'll pump up my bike tires and actually put it to use. Nah, I think I might go to the gym and shoot ball instead. Of course, there's probably another basketball camp going on, so I may just end up lifting some weights. I'm sure Tom, my unofficial trainer, will be happy.

Desiree, did you get Nick's (short) message? Ashley is making a strong play to displace you in Nick's heart. I have to keep reminding him that there's room enough in there for the both of you - as well as Summer, Chad, Justin, Aaron, & David (who does mean things to him :-)

One last thought - is this post as disjointed as I think it is?

Actually I was planning to post about the Empire Strikes Back...

As I watched Mr. Ogwyn give the Pentecost sermon, I kept wondering: "When was this taped?" "How sick was he when he taped this?" "You know, he doesn't appear to be doing too bad!" And then Monday, I got the news that he was GRAVELY ill. Even as the reports got worse, I didn't really think he would die. I knew he could, but I didn't think he would. Same as with Mr. Carl McNair. As soon as I saw Mr. B's phone number on my caller ID, I knew what had happened. It's certainly a shock, and his family and the church in general are in my prayers. I'm not worried about him; his suffering, his battles (against Satan, the world, and the flesh), and the incredible responsibility of being an overseer of so many congregations are now over. He is asleep, and he went to sleep called, chosen, and faithful. May I do half as well in my Christian walk. Neither am I worried about the church - God is able to raise up stones to finish the Work if necessary. (I'm speaking of the church as an entity, not of individuals within the church. I know many are hurting, bewildered, and shocked, and I DO care about what they're going through.)

People like him, Mr. McNair, Mr. Meredith, Mr. Bryce, Priscilla, Annette Burdette, Ronnie Poole, Darrel & Patti Ridgeway, and MHB et al. are heroes/heroines, the likes of which this world is not worthy. God speed the day when those who have fallen asleep in Christ arise to receive their gift of eternal life, and their reward. Let's make sure that we're their to rejoice with them and renew these relationships which I like to think of as being on "temporary hiatus".

Rest in peace, Mr. Ogwyn. You are missed. It always amazed me how you were able to discover information that no one else seemed to bring out in the Scriptures, even though the information was right there all along.

I shot the sheriff - but I didn't shoot the deputy

Just got our acceptance letter to the Jamaican Feast site! Woohoo!!!! Now I’ve gotta straighten out this whole room situation and then the reggae-fest begins. I refuse to pay for two rooms. I refuse, I say!!!

I just got back from giving dear ol’ Clemson $1700 of my hard-earned dollas. I had to repay a travel advance and pay my security deposit for the married student apartment we’re moving into next month. It’s old, but utilities are included in the rent, it has 3 bedrooms, a playground almost right next door, free cable, and free high-speed internet (I think). The neighborhood is also quiet, and everyone has kids. I think the next year’s gonna be pretty fun. My brother has already begun making his ‘tailgating’ plans for Texas A & M, Miami, and Florida State.

It’s almost time for Pentecost, and I must say that I’m glad. I’ll get to hear some great sermons the next coupla days and spend quite a bit of time with the ol’ church family. I’m gonna kick back tonight and finally finish reading the latest booklet. I usually finish new booklets the same day I get them, but for some reason every time I pick this one up I get sidetracked. What I’ve read so far has been interesting – no surprise there. I love hearing about the correlation between the first Pentecost celebrated by the newly-emancipated nation of Israel and the Pentecost of 31 A.D.

I’ve been trying to rent “The Empire Strikes Back” for about a week now with no luck. Nick fell in love with “Star Wars”, and I’ve never seen TESB from beginning to end. I did read the novel adapted from the screenplay when the movie came out *geek alert*, but I’ve only seen snippets of the movie. I’ve tried to get Nick to use the term “Storm Troopers” as opposed to “White Guys”; I wouldn’t want someone overhearing him use that term in a negative way get the wrong idea. I guess I could get his mind off Dark Vada by taking him to see “Sharkboy & Lava Girl”, but I think I’ll wait until it’s on DVD.

I think I’m going up to the Water Wheel (a local homemade ice cream shop) and get another of those joints I had yesterday – a sugarfree caramel frozen latte with Splenda™ and whipped cream. *licking lips* Before that though, I think I’m going to break down and shoot some ball. I’m sure I’ll be gasping for air after 1.5 minutes, and my vertical leap is now almost completely horizontal, but it’s still fun. Maybe next week I’ll be brave and venture out to the Ultimate field. Perhaps I can get Aaron, Chad, Summer, & Ash out there too. (Mondays & Wednesdays @ 6:00 on Bowman Field). Lemme go change clothes. Holla!

800 miles in a weekend...

Home was quite nice. A return to normalcy, if you will. Flat land, heat, humidity, and mama's home cooking. Seeing the boys really made her day. As an added bonus, my brother shipped his daughter over for a night and the Grandma house was teeming with young'uns.

We jetted on down to Walterboro for the Sabbath and heard a good foundational sermon on repentance from Scott Winnail. He'll probably be in Anderson in the next month or so. I really enjoyed meeting him and his family is delightful. His 4-year old son and Nick quickly became friends, and his little daughter tagged along right behind. Nick also made friends with Shanna, our soon-to-be Austrialian. Mrs. Winnail could've been knocked over by a feather when I immediately recognized her hometown. It's tiny, like mine, but we our respective high schools happened to be in the same conference. We knew quite a few of the same people. I don't guess people from New Zion run into people from Clio very often.

Saturday night I was able to see a lot of family members I hadn't seen in ages. I found out that my Grandmother's twig of the Cabbagestalk tree is the "runt" twig. Apparently my her sisters kids/grandkids in Virgina are descendants of Anak. Her sister Kitty's kids are tall; one used to play for the Globetrotters and her 4 girls stand about 5'10" or so. One of them played college ball at NC State and once scored 105 points in a high school game. Aunt Gertude's kids/grandkids are tall too - the runt of the litter is 6' tall and is a former MLB player.

My brother and I, along with the host of the get-together, were the only members of our generation present. Most of the people there were 50+ in age. Many of them didn't recognize me or my brother. I assume that's because I'm no longer 5'4" with a high-top fade. Don't laugh - they were in style once. At least I never had a jheri curl.

Apparently I didn't miss out on Summa's wonderful dinner after all. I wonder if I can finagle another invite... *insert evil laugh*

Sick

The head is throbbing. The throat is itching. The nasal passages are extremely congested. And it's still cold outside (OK, so it's not technically cold, but for it's far too cool be be June. I just feel like curling up by a fire with a cup of something hot and some cold fruit, preferably tangerines. Maybe that's what I'll have for dinner. Well whatdayaknow! I just found an orange in my backpack. How fortuitous! Maybe if I overload my body with Vitamin C...